Finding Joy in our Journey

On Tuesday, March 5, Eric got a phone call from his bosses, bosses, boss. The news was not great. We had heard rumors and rumblings, but this was what confirmed it. Luckily (for Mr. Bossman) he talked to Eric because this is how the conversation would have gone if I had taken the call...

"What? What's that you say? You want to lay off my husband? My sweet, funny, charming, smart, and amazing husband?! How dare you?!" Add about 5 minutes of ranting here. It could have gotten quite colorful. I know people think I'm sweet and nice, but they have never messed with my husband! I will get MEAN! Okay, you've probably imagined long enough. Let's get back too it.) "He has worked eleven years and now that you might have to give him a little more money because he's almost done with school you... um... I'm sorry... what? You think he's amazing too? You appreciate everything he's done, but there isn't any more work? Oh, but he could travel like he's doing now! ... No? That puts too big a strain on the family....... two minute pause while I consider how to answer this politely... isn't being without a job kind of a "strain on the family"?... Well, yes, he HAS been looking for another job... oh, and there is a severance package? About 8 months pay?! Insurance for a year... extra money so Eric can finish school... Okay, well yes that is all very generous, but still...... well okay. I'm still mad though!"

Okay, so the truth is I probably would have been so shocked I wouldn't have been able to speak. Eric was a champ. He stayed calm and asked the right questions.

Now a new trial has come to our family. Eric is out of a job. Our only income is gone. I feel a little like I'm going through the stages of grief, but really fast! The denial passed in about 10 minutes, then the anger (refer to the paragraph above). Bargaining came on Thursday when I tried to convince Eric to call and ask them if he could work until the end of the month. Depression was Wednesday morning (the WORST). I feel like that one keeps popping up when I least expect it. I think I'm doing okay and then BAM! Hello old friend! I'm so grateful for all of our wonderful family and friends. They are helping with this stage so much! The last stage of grief is acceptance. I'm not quite there, but I'm working on it!

You know when a crisis comes along and people will either react quickly or freeze? Well I react. It doesn't really matter what's going on in my head, my body just automatically starts doing what needs done. So when I found out Tuesday afternoon that we suddenly had a whole new list of worries I immediately started writing things down. Money, moving, medical, m&m's (er, okay, I didn't write down m&m's. I just ate them! A girl needs chocolate)!  I also decided to start preparing the kids. I remember when my dad was laid off when I was a kid and it was not great! I was just plain confused!

I said a prayer and got out the Gospel Art picture kit. I flipped through randomly; not really sure what I was going to say. Then I saw them... Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendiboo... Abumblebee, eh, we'll just call him Benny. I knew what Heavenly Father wanted me to say. We talked about the trials those wonderful boys faced. They were taken from their homes and forced to live in a way that they didn't want. I asked the kids what happened when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego refused to bow down to the golden bunny idol. Logan said "they went in the fire!" Evan then explained that it was actually a fiery furnace (because that's what he does) and then I asked Reid what happened. He said "Jesus saved them." We got to talk about what happened AFTER the trial. The king was repentant and lives were changed for the better. Then we talked about Daniel and the Lions Den. The response from the kids was similar and then one of the kids said exactly what I needed to hear. "People really shouldn't worry about trials. If you have a trial it just means that a miracle is coming!" I love my little angels. They teach me so much.

And so we are waiting for our miracle. We know it's coming. I can already see the glimmer of the miracle in the eyes of my mischievous kids. We are going to be okay. We know that this trial will be for our good and that in the end we will be truly blessed.

P.S. You may be wondering why I titled this post "Joy in Our Journey". It's because even through this is supposed to be a trial I am going to enjoy every minute I get to spend with my incredible family. I'm actually going to get to SEE my husband every day!