Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Miracle Diet! Guaranteed Results!

I enjoyed this quite a bit. It's very accurate:

People are always on the
lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet.

Over the years you may have noticed that most two-year-olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterward. Good Luck !!!

DAY ONE:

Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly.

Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor.

Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.

Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).

Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Sprite.

Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO:

Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it.

Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.

Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.

Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again.

Then bring inside and drop on rug.

Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.

DAY THREE:

Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass.

After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.

Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch.

Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.

FINAL DAY:

Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.

Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.

Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

~Comedy Central

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Tony

My cousin Tony passed away unexpectedly and left me in shock. I haven't seen him for a number of years and I never really considered the possibility that I wouldn't see him again. I'm sad, but also grateful. This experience has made me take stock of my own life. Who else am I taking for granted? What can I do to rectify that? I think I've become complacent in my life. Anyway, I loved Tony and I'll miss him. My aunt had this picture of him and I think I will always remember him just like this.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Reid is 2!

My little baby is now a big two-year-old! Where did the time go?

We decided to buy a cake for the first time. I don't think we'll do it again. Here is the cake about two minutes after we came home. Most of the frosting is on the lid because Reid decided he was ready for cake and pulled it off the counter. At least the lid was still on and I didn't have to clean the floor!

I think it turned out alright though. Reid only wanted the cake because of the dump truck on top!



I doubt anyone has ever had a better third child. He's so sweet and caring. He loves to tease, but he is always quick to say sorry. I have been trying to get him to do his Knock Knock joke for the camera. This is the best I've been able to get...


Ok, now repeat this video about 10 times and you'll have the whole thing! I'm so lucky to have such a smart little guy! Love you Reid!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

My Little Shadows

I should put this on a little card to hand to people when they see me with my crew and get those big round eyes...

I saw a young mother with eyes full of laughter
And four little shadows came following after.
Wherever she moved, they were always right there—
Holding onto her skirts, hanging onto her chair,
Before her, behind her—an adhesive pair.

“Don’t you ever get weary as day after day
Your four little tagalongs get in your way?”

She smiled as she shook her pretty young head,
And I’ll always remember the words that she said:
“It’s good to have shadows that run when you run,
That laugh when you’re happy and hum when you hum—
For you only have shadows
When your life’s filled with sun.”

~Mormon Momma

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Memories to Treasure



I think I am going to have plenty of blackmail for the future. I won't even need to pull out the naked pictures! Truthfully, I think they are adorable and right now they think so too. I wonder what their prom dates will think...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Grandma Nettie! We love you!

I never got to post the pictures of my mom's visit after Logan was born. I thought this was a good opportunity since today is her birthday. She reminds me of my own Grandma. Always loving, helping, teaching, and serving others. Thanks Mom.

Grandma and Evan have a very special relationship. :)
She lifts you up when you are down.
Here she is helping the kids make cupcakes.
It's hard to catch her holding still, but I "made" her hold the baby. Logan was exhausted just watching her work.
Chillin' at the zoo.
Cheese!
Love you Grandma! Happy Birthday!
~Love,
Your favorite Grandchildren in Alabama